It's been awhile...

I'm now 11w5d pregnant.

Had my first obstetrician appointment at 8w4d and saw a healthy little bubba. Also found out that my ob will be on maternity leave when I am due, so need to make a decision about who will take over my care once she finishes up.

My NT scan is booked for Friday morning. Had my bloods taken today in preparation.

Exhaustion and morning sickness are still kicking my ass. Hoping once I pass the 12 week mark I might start feeling better!! Finding it very hard to run round after DS all day. I live for nap time and bed time at the moment.

DH was due home this Thursday but found out today he has to do an extra week. So sad he will miss the scan. Also feeling let down that I have to cope another week on my own. I was counting on him coming back so I could have some help and a bit of a break. Makes it so much easier when we are both home, especially when I feel like crap.

I feel like such a terrible mother and wife right now. The house is an absolute mess. I have done no housework in weeks. I have piles of washing that need to be done. I haven't done a grocery shop in weeks and the cupboards are looking very sad. All I want is for DS to play happily on his own, but he's at a really clingy stage and needs me right there. I lay on his play mat while he climbs all over me and I try not to fall asleep. See? Crap mum. Crap wife. Crap home maker.

Had to tell my boss today that I'm pregnant and may not be returning from my maternity leave. It was the 2nd time she's called in the last month or 2, so figured it was a good time to let the news slip. I'm now waiting to hear from HR to see if I can extend my leave, or whether I'm not entitled to anything else and have to resign. Part of me just wants to quit, but the other part knows I should hang on to the job if I can as I will never find something as good and accommodating as this position.

Once the scan has been done we will be sharing our news with the rest of our friends and family. I am so glad! I'm over keeping a secret. It's been harder this time as I've felt so terrible and it would have made life so much easier if certain people knew. Oh well-only a few more days of keeping my mouth shut and as I've turned myself into a bit of a hermit the past few weeks its not really that challenging!

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